Are you building or breaking your marriage?
Every woman has a little girl inside of her that longs for sugar sweet words of love and affection. The same with all men. They long for that one person who will think the world of them. Every man/woman long for someone that will think that he or she is the prettiest, most handsome and the best catch; someone that will only have eyes for you, appreciate you and only sees the best in you... a special someone who can be your for ever after until death do you part.
... but what most couples don’t realize is that they have to be willing to first give, before they can expect to receive. When you start a relationship with someone, it’s like you receive an empty box. You have to put the stuff you want out of that relationship into your box. If you put love, kindness, forgiveness etc. in you can expect that back. If you put gossip/hate-speech (curses), bitterness, unforgiveness in your box, I can promise you that you won’t have a happy life.
Me and my husband’s marriage wasn’t always easy...still isn’t. Sometimes I think that Mars and Venus book aren’t to far off. “Please Lord! Change my husband!” The Lord never liked that prayer. In the meantime the Lord was fully in control of my husband’s life and growth. Each time I prayed for my marriage, He first helped me to change... and then...after a while my husband followed my example. I wanted my husband to see and tell me how awesome I was, while I was more than willing to tell him how awefull he was.
Each time you choose to love, forgive and give a gentle answer in spite of a harsh one, (Poverbs 15:1) you are killing off your flesh. The more your flesh dies, the bigger the opening becomes where the Holy Spirit can dwell in and rule. That opening is full of peace, joy and pure love. The more you choose to die in yourself, the happier you become. Do you understand? There is no bigger freedom than to offer yourself as a living sacrifice to the One who love you most, Jesus Christ, the only way, the only truth and life.
My best advice to men:
If your wife looks pretty and you see that she made and effort to look good, smile, look into her eyes and says: “You look pretty.” Let her feel that you are proud of her. Buy her flowers and romantic gifts once a while. Trust me. If you want a happier life and a happier wife, just do it. This will make your life so much easier. Don’t hold back compliments. This is not from God. Make a choice in your heart and before God that she will always be your queen and that she will be the only woman you will ever love. Pray for her constantly. Don’t compare her with other women. Hug her and tell her that you love her. Do this every day!
My best advice to women:
Your husband must know that you admire him and look up to him. Say things like: My husband is a handyman; He fixed the taps yesterday; I love your muscles; I trust you; I know that you will make the right choice; I believe in you; Thank you that you care for me and love me; Thank you that you think I am pretty; I love you so much! Never gossip about your husband. Never compare him with others. Pray for him daily. Make a choice in your heart and before God that he will be your for ever after.
Every little compliment, smile, hug or kiss are like a brick you use to build your marriage with and make it stronger. Make a choice every day that today is the day that you are going to build and not break. Be like Jesus. Choose to love unconditionally, to only focus on the good in your spouse. Have grace with each others shortcomings. Pray together and for each other. Pray that God will bless your spouse. Pray that God will give you His eyes. Choose love. Choose patience. It is so worth it.